my quest

This perception in my stomach will not subside
Wicked moths or simply irritation?
I need to seek her...instead I hide
But what I want seems no indication
for that which she has any aspiration
Causing pain with no intention
its the demise of my invention.

Exquisite torture nonetheless
use my reserves of failing will
How long this loneliness? Who can guess...
Know for certain I’ve had my fill.
My hearts' from where my soul will spill
I fear too greatly the journey's end,
when all that's left is Title: Friend

So I trudge along at her constant pace
Her comfort is my first concern
My cursed impatience in its place
still my lips--gods! they do burn!
And my mind will infallibly churn
My untimely love gives her full reign
Will it be my Hell? My ruination again?

Can she not learn to read my mind?
or even perhaps my troubled core.
to see what lies down deep inside
I may be forced to seal that door.
Just like I did a year before
in the dark times of my annihilation
when another held me in subjugation

That fine armor I once had worn
to protect myself in somber days
cast aside when hope was born
sight set upon dreams' golden rays
Her wholesome spirit now do I gaze
Looking closely--amazed to see...
She has that armor just like me!

Mournfully she wears her still
not realizing she is free from harm
The lesson we've learned--a bitter pill
She'll not be swayed by simple charm
till she can trust, she n'er take my arm
Some day she'll know! It will be my quest!
She'll see I'm not merely seeking the flesh.