A woman

I want a woman who can think out loud
I want a woman who can play my games
Unimposing but stands out in a crowd
Gets pissed off without calling me foul names

A woman who can say how she feels
She's neat and clean, but sometimes dirty
A sensible woman with sensible wheels
Hot librarian glasses, age of at least thirty.

Young thin blonds need not apply
They're all cover and no epic tail
If you're conceited baby, don't even try
A few dangerous curves makes me sharply inhale...

I like a woman shorter by the span of a hand
A woman unafraid to say what she wants
Some charisma and wit--no one night stand
Sometimes diplomatic, sometimes a little blunt

Does she exist beyond the confines of my mind,
or is she just and optimistic notion?
Woman like this may be impossible to find
If I do she'll likely play with my emotions...

Win

Tragedy ensues on an evil note
the chorus of wicked minions assault
I know this time it is my fault
Spells cast upon the words I wrote

The bell never tolls it's doom down here
instead its only misery and blood
Like entrails strewn around in mud
My heart beats fast in clenching fear

The brimstone winds tear at my skin
the smell of pain and ripe decay
the man beating his head would say
"They will not win! They cannot win!!"

I wake among my twisted sheets
covered in the smell of death
the genesis of the day in the west
what of last eve's mythic feats?

The day obscured by the solemn din
I see that man and his bloody head
An eerie voice in side me said,
"Oh yes they win! They always win!!"

My requiem

The pain within me burns my soul
Like a candle thrown into the fire
The hurt I caused her—a deep hole
Now in our live—strung on broken wire

She said goodbye—and eternal farewell
Dined on her promise to forgive
I’ve retreated back within my shell
A world where no happiness can live

I could have loved her ‘till I was dust
But I destroyed it all
The unintentionally broken trust
My requiem—my fall

Never again will I feel this way
I’ll remember her until my last day

Anguish

Anguish grinds like stone on stone
It fills my chest with force
It rends and tears muscle, tendon, bone
Ravaging through me on it’s molten course

The pain of loss haunts me
Phantom sensations from a severed limb
Like a ghost of foam borne from the sea
Not loss of appendage, but cherished friend

A misjudgment of character yet again?
A pretty bottle with the flavor of swill?
Both of us reacting to the bell’s revenge
Like Pavolov’s dog, it bends our will

I will unlearn this dreaded trait
Perhaps one day she will as well
I dare not let it make my fate
To do so makes an earthly hell

I wish her happiness and peace
To find herself and cleanse her soul
Then know one day her great release
And find me waiting, my arms to hold.

nightmare

Part of me wakes screaming at night
like a runaway truck with evil teeth
its hard and cold--it hurts like steel
rips everything apart like rotten meat

The crystal breaks and turns to dust
the patterned beast it does not bleed
the pharmaceuticals course through my head
but the captive muse is still not freed

i hear the footsteps on the wall
the man without hands reaches for me!
but he shrinks back from the horrid sight--
the volume of the screaming tree!

when will the time come to regress?
to roll into that Neanderthal sphere
and curse the day that i evolved
to shed that microprocessor tear

inhale deep the vulgar wind
the cube of nothingness set free
when comes the time of fancy dress?
the bird of death--it pecks at me...

Mrs. Wrong

She lives her life in retrospect
Looking at the time it was a wreck
Disease, divorce, and destitution
there can be no resolution

Hypochondriac, psychotic mess
she does what's right--that I'll confess
but in that warped and sickened mind
she cannot tell justice from crime

So she sits upon her twisted throne
in the grim death camp she calls a home
making decrees as she sees fit
not understanding or caring--not giving a shit

whatever it takes to feed her pride
regretting that she's not still his bride
but instead a rotting withered corpse
waiting for that indisputable force

to come and carry her away
like the huge dark birds of yesterday
or to sink into the ocean of black
with a carcinogenic heart attack

The curse of Valhalla

He pulls the blade from the bloody wound
Wipes it clean on his enemy’s back
That fallen foe will rot in the sun
Following the hellbound ebon track
Slip into the eternal ragged crack

He’s weathered many skirmishes
He’s lived through death and pain
The captain’s face is very young
But his eyes show victory in vain
Only strategy and tactics still remain

He gathers his men to fight again
The meadow crimson and damp
The assemble into ranks
Then march off toward the camp
Feasting and toasting their champ

The wounds do heal and knit
The captain looks with woe
The men—now they sleep
He knows the morn brings other foes
To fall again in Valhalla—the eternal flow.

overdraft blues

Jose Quervo's a good friend o' mine
Drink with him whenever I got time
Stoli/Rocks--I'm the biggest fan
That old Russian juice make you a man

Workin' all week
A dead-end job
got nothing to show
feel like I been robbed

Took all my time
got paid too low
didn't even cover
that overdraft hole.

Know a little girl she like the Maker's Mark
Shit go down smoothe like a walk in the park
No ice, no chaser just a shot or three
any more than that--she ask to marry me.

Workin' all week
A dead-end job
got nothing to show
feel like I been robbed

Took all my time
got paid too low
didn't even cover
that overdraft hole.

Fresh Irish Guinness like chocolate milk
Thick as oil but smoothe like silk
Though I don't know how to get up and dance
Must have found something special there in my pants.

Workin' all week
A dead-end job
got nothing to show
know that I been robbed

Took all my time
got paid too low
bank cheatin' me good
with that overdraft hole.

split the atom

She split the atom of my soul this night
the agony of her raptorial prose
slash the cord on my emotional kite
insidious thorn from a wounded rose.

I'm the architect of my own doom
insecurity, turmoil, jagged fierce pain
Inside my head--wild animal in a room
Tearing, Clawing, Ripping around my brain

The padded walls, gods how they bleed
vinyl skin, soft foam rubber flesh
A violent massacre of gory greed
sift through that mess with wire mesh

Perhaps with time it will be right
Impatience and that tempest--enemies
struggle for power near every night
control, however, they will not sieze

Well, permanent sway they do not hold
hideous heads do occasionally rise
I beat them back with the club of gold
But not held in check, they steal the prize

my quest

This perception in my stomach will not subside
Wicked moths or simply irritation?
I need to seek her...instead I hide
But what I want seems no indication
for that which she has any aspiration
Causing pain with no intention
its the demise of my invention.

Exquisite torture nonetheless
use my reserves of failing will
How long this loneliness? Who can guess...
Know for certain I’ve had my fill.
My hearts' from where my soul will spill
I fear too greatly the journey's end,
when all that's left is Title: Friend

So I trudge along at her constant pace
Her comfort is my first concern
My cursed impatience in its place
still my lips--gods! they do burn!
And my mind will infallibly churn
My untimely love gives her full reign
Will it be my Hell? My ruination again?

Can she not learn to read my mind?
or even perhaps my troubled core.
to see what lies down deep inside
I may be forced to seal that door.
Just like I did a year before
in the dark times of my annihilation
when another held me in subjugation

That fine armor I once had worn
to protect myself in somber days
cast aside when hope was born
sight set upon dreams' golden rays
Her wholesome spirit now do I gaze
Looking closely--amazed to see...
She has that armor just like me!

Mournfully she wears her still
not realizing she is free from harm
The lesson we've learned--a bitter pill
She'll not be swayed by simple charm
till she can trust, she n'er take my arm
Some day she'll know! It will be my quest!
She'll see I'm not merely seeking the flesh.

sight

Stagnation is no indication
of where I'm going to
affection without all that lust
I must be one of the few

I see the beauty all around
is it just me? Only me?
the shallowness of the human race
why can't they see? why can't they see?

the media pollutes our minds
with slender, tall and blond
Diversity is what's for me
of variety is what i'm fond

This is of course to say nothing
of beauty intellectual and spirit true
traits mundane, and traits amazing
facets of being--many, not few.

When might i find that special soul
the one with sight that's just like mine?
If we meet, will I even know?
or be lost 'till end of time?

slow death

Within these walls
behind the glass
like an exhibit
my fate's been cast

I ponder wind
and sun, and sky
I view the leaves
drift indolently by

I'm caged and bored
I long to be
outside this place
reckless and free

But here I sit
squandering time
it flashes by
not worth one dime

Present is sacrificed
like a pagan goat
to the gods of Wealth
just to remain afloat

Better to spend minutes I have
with friends, progeny, or alone
than waste it here in this cave
laboring for the errant bone

A farce of circumstance I am
my nose enslaved to the wheel of rock
chained and rowing against the flow
pushing uphill that granite block

Daily I struggle to remember
my faith--Karma will prevail
have I been deserving? and if not
what tortures will my failures entail?

Perhaps it is as a friend did tell
the greatest of all human woe
saved and stored, kept in stock
presented only to the strongest soul

Like the corporeal elements of me
any thing that doesn't cause my demise
is added to the camel's back
merely strengthens me, no matter size.